The Hidden Abundance of Letting Go: Clearing Physical, Mental and Emotional Space

When my husband and I moved into our house in southwest Minneapolis, there was a collection of about ten boxes that sat in a corner of the basement for well over year. I can’t really say why. We just sort of ran out of steam in the unpacking process. Every time I went down to do a load of laundry or feed the cats, I’d look over at that corner and just think, Ugh. When are we going to take care of that stuff?

Finally on a rainy day in September, a year and a half after we moved in, we decided to get the task done. Two-thirds of that stuff wound up being either donated or thrown out. We certainly didn’t need it now if we hadn’t needed it in the past 18 months. That corner is clean and clear now. When I go downstairs, I notice and appreciate the light that pours in the window. Physically that space is clear – but also clear now is the space in my head that was continually occupied by that unresolved pile of boxes.

This issue, the intense emotional connection we often have with things that we own, including our “intangible” belongings – our health, the things we believe about ourselves and others, old grudges, or unresolved pain, is an interesting and sometimes difficult one to address. All these things occupy space. At times they occupy so much space that there isn’t room for anything else. Simplicity is what we long for – but it can be very difficult to let go, even though hanging on to these things is a detriment to our emotional state of mind.

Let’s consider how our brains process input. One of our neurological paths could be considered “the path of reason.” This is the part of the brain that, when we look at a chair, it sees an item made of wood and fabric. The other neurological path is one that is deeply and instantly connected to emotion and memory. When we, again, look at the chair, it remembers everything – pleasing and unpleasing – related to that item. So, something as uncomplicated as a chair could be strongly representational of experiences such as guilt, a negative relationship, sorrow, or a feeling of being overwhelmed. Therefore, it is easy to understand how a home or a heart filled with these triggers can grow to be a pretty tough place to live peacefully.

Heidi DeCoux, a very good friend of mine, is a professional organizer specializing in home organization. According to Heidi, the cycle of physical and emotional chaos can be explained this way:

The problem, everyone says, is the clutter. Actually, the real problem is … the lack of space. When we don’t have space, there’s nowhere to grow and no room for anything new. Instead, we experience more stuffing and filling versus positive, beneficial growth.

Gail Blanke, coach and author of the book “Throw out Fifty Things,” recently gave an interview that I was able to listen to. She explained that removing clutter is not so that you can live in a spotlessly clean environment (in fact, an obsession with this type of “perfection” can be its own type of emotional clutter). On the contrary, clearing clutter is so that you can make space for new ideas, possibilities, and forward movement. This is Heidi’s philosophy in her work as well: “Organizing is not as much about organizing things as it is about seeing people transform.”

Blanke has a kind of litmus test which she calls the Rules of Disengagement for letting go of the things that can hold us back:

* Let it go – if the thing, idea, feeling, or person weighs you down, hurts you consistently, or holds you back.

* If the thing, the idea, the feeling, the person just sits there, takes up space and contributes nothing — let it go.

* Let it go — if you continuously deliberate, always weighing the pluses and negatives – “Should I let it go? Should I keep it? As Heidi says, “An environment of guilt is created in the stuff you feel guilty about getting rid of – who can grow in that?”

* Don’t make it so hard. The things that are meant to be in our lives will not cause us such constant confusion and pain.

Consume and accumulate are things people often do this time of year. Therefore, it seems the perfect time to stop and ask yourself: Are there things I should be letting go of? Are there things in my physical or emotional space that are keeping me from moving forward in my life? What are the possibilities if I do let go of these things?

To fill in space is a human tendency. Therefore, the important question becomes, “What do I want to fill it with?

Heidi DeCoux is a professional organizer & creator of The Fast-Filing Method home office filing system. To get her FREE Kit: The Fast & Easy Way to Get Organized & Stay Organized, visit ClearSimpleLiving.com. Siri Myhrom is an educator & therapeutic writing facilitator. To get a free subscription to Siri’s e-Magazine, Winter Oak Weekly, visit winter-oak.com.